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Masturbate for Peace Poems

support our troops, bring 'em home to play:
bisexual, straight or gay!
masturbate to stop this war
'cuz we don't want no killin' no more! - San Diego radical cheerleaders

To oppose this big war on Iraq
I shall willingly fondle my sack
If we give peace a chance
I'll go side with France
Heck, I'll even go down on Chirac  - Spooky

War fought in the streets
I fight it between my sheets
Shot on the chest
I can fight no more. - Chris, Norfolk, VA

Mister Bush and Mister Blair
That pair are oh so silly
I think the reason for this war
Is that they've got small willies
Repression is their motto
So seldom do they spank
I think they should get mutual
And share a friendly wank - Mister Paul, Ireland

Not even staid by
my carpal tunnel syndrome,
I still stroke for peace - Bard, New York

here is my red, white and blue:
a semen-soaked Kleenex of goo
flapping around the top of my schlong,
as I sing my sweet victory song. - g zellner

pacifistic strokes
the free and brave can wank
benevolent goo - kirez

penetrating me,
peacekeeping is such pleasure,
screams will silence war. - Abby

War is bad, War is sad, thoughts of war must go.
Stop and think, give your wang a wink, and let your juices flow. - Zack M

I will spank it Sam I am...
I will spank it on my cam
I will wank it in my house
I will wank it with a mouse
I will jack it in my car
I will five finger disco near or far
I will wank it on the floor
I will slap it to make peace not war
I will beat it because I can
I will masturbate Sam I am - RoseyLips, Kansas

There once was a tyrant named Bush
To grab Iraq's oil he did rush
But he should have stayed home
Rubbed his capitol dome
And made his old Texas rig gush! - Greg

I will touch my clit
if the war we quit.
If the war will end
I will even touch a friend.
I wont even bone,
till we bring all our boys home.
For the people and the state,
I plan to masturbate.
My masturbation will not cease,
Until we have world peace!!! - Beckalicious, Brooklyn

Every day, every night
Because I know it's right
I drop my pants and join the fight - Bruno, San Francisco, CA

Alone at last
here cums the blast
where's my rag
I'm not going to brag

I see the white
This war ain't right
don't grab your gun
just have some fun

Standing hard as steel
The proudest of all soldiers
Who brings love not pain

they say we should attack Iraq
but we say no, so let's fight back
there must be some other way
to make our politicians sway

the solution is at hand
take your dick and make a stand
drop your pants and get some grease
let's all masturbate for peace! - Lauren and Mandi

I'll grease my piece, 
use a glove made of fleece, 
then whack away smiling to achieve the release.

Save the jis in a can, 
to prove that I can, 
help to make peace for all women and man.

Cause war is not right, 
and I'd rather not fight, 
There's always a choice...left or right. - Jason, Stoneham, MA

Although my knob, it is quite tiny.
Very thin and kinda slimy.
I'll wank for peace each day,
Enjoying myself in every way
As I squirt my cheesy load,
It's for peace that i explode,
When my soldier stands at ease
I'll tug it harder, even squeeze
for my last drop of peaceful goo
Will make a statement from me to you
That I will never ever waiver
For masturbation is our true savior. - Ben

Peace is good
Peace is great
That's why we must masturbate

Your fingers are proof
with my load, no violence
self love is the way - Larry

My soldier stands erect,
All nations to protect.
A peaceful shot is one
That comes not from a gun. - Steve

World healing,
You know that feeling.
Just hit the ceiling. - Rev. Hall

War, you won't prevail
I fought you in the shower
Victory was mine - Hob

I am gonna do from noon 'till night
so no young soldier has to fight.

I am gonna do with my left and then my right
so no young soldier has to fight.

I am gonna do it hidden and then in plain sight
so no young soldier has to fight.

I am gonna do it easy then with all my might
so no young soldier has to fight.

I may get a callous, I may get a sprain
But for the good of us all, I'll do it again. - North Carolina

My boyfriend and I
We both fight for a cause just
He makes me explode
And I make his nuts bust
We forget about Iraq
And we forget about war
We'll just masturbate
Until we're both sore. - Jenny

When the army's in Iraq
with their guns and bombs and tanks,
I find I like to have a jack
a few tugs, a couple wanks
When the fighter jets do scramble
and the troops begin to quicken,
The newscasters will ramble
and I'll strangle my own chicken. - Jason, St. Louis, Missouri

I will touch it, 
I'm not shy. 
I only go to war, 
with my little guy... - Ian

Love It well; It grows.
Milky dribbles wet your toes.
New peace, from your piece.

If whacking is wrong,
I do not want to be right.
Our loads will save us. - The man

Give your body love
Jerk and rub, it's war we snub
Masturbation rules! - Trout

soldiers shoot bullets
they should be shooting love jizz
they should shoot for peace - ranjahlee

puts a fire in your belly
on mine, only jism. - Joseph, London

Precious droplets fall
Fists of war release their swords
Anger has been spent - Dave

1, 2, 3, 4, I don't want to go to war.  
5, 6, 7, 8, I would rather masturbate.

gripping piece in hand,
imagine naked saddam,
spill peace on the land. - brian, Belfast

My pink telephone
only has one pink button
I will dial for peace - Steffi

i shoot rockets to the moon
for war to end soon
i'm tugging on my chain
to end all the worlds pain
i'm wanking now for your own sake
a sticky hand for peace I'll make. - `Mol0cHaI

I plan to take self in hand,
And whack for the good of the land,
For when peace is nigh,
I'll shoot off sky high,
And anon I'll repeat as is planned. - Raymond, Fort Worth, Texas

As threat of war stalks through the land,
I pledge to take myself in hand,
And masturbate at length each day,
Until the threat has gone away,
And when I cum, I'll shout out loud,
With cock in hand so stiff and proud,
I'll urge the world to contemplate
How great it is to masturbate. - Jack, UK

I shall tussle on the beaches,
crack one out in the streets,
and fight the one eyed monster in the fields,
but I shell never surrender. - Rob, Essex

Song For Peace

Sung to the tune of The Caissons Go Rolling Along

Sing our song,
Grab your dong,
Squeeze some joy juice on your thong,
When your jerkin your gherkin for peace.

Grab your prick,
Swat your dick,
Shoot your load and make it stick,
When your jerkin your gherkin for peace.


Oh it Woo Ha Hi,
I just came right in my eye,
Leave something viscous on your knees,
When you pull your pole,
You're always in control
When your jerkin your gherkin for peace.

You're no fool,
Stroke that tool
'Till you finally start to droll,
When you're jerkin' your gherkin for peace.

Slap that cock,
Jolt your rocks,
Come so hard you fill your socks,
When you're jerkin' your gherkin for peace. - Alan, Missouri

pleasure yourself now
stop the bombs from going pow
self love leads to peace - Dirty Jersey

Grab your cock Dubya.
Cause a finger on the knob
Is off the button - thebastardman

O Saddam, Saddam,
we can never smite you with
a greasy right hand? - Matty B.

Melons work just fine
Cantaloupe or honey dew
Loving fruits for peace - Nate

Peace is very hard
Just like the fountain of life
Soften both at once

Who could go to war
When more pressing issues lie
In sticky wet sheets

Every night with the lights turned low
and the candle's wick all licked
with the rosy red lips
of fire's warm glow,
I shall wax my shaft to a high gloss sheen
whilst dreaming of peace
in a world most serene,
and passions erupt in a
sticky joy flow
'till I'm left with a mess
on my stomach and chest,
wanting not war
just a lonely Kleenex. - Sterling, Maryland

Rage, Anger, Hate, Revenge
A moment spent with old friend
Peace, Understanding, Joy

Olive oil and porn
(I like Rocco & Buttman)
replace bombs and guns. - Matty B

Pounding my nob fast
Ending War would be a blast
Thank God! Done at last. - Jerry

Sunshine on my pole
A glowing peace monument
A geyser of love - Bub

Oh lubrication
I think I understand why
Nations fight so hard for oil - Sapper

Sunshine on my pole
A glowing peace monument
A geyser of love - Bub

Sweet masturbation.
It works for the bonobos.
It will work for us. - Jim

Four fingers and thumb
Working together for peace,
Then I rinse, repeat. - Dago

Stroke harder, faster
My cream of goodwill flows forth
Hate cannot survive - Ezra

War of frustration
Don't kill for lack of a piece
Bring peace with your hands - Yellowbeard

Why fire a real gun,
When my fleshy one beckons,
My hand to take arms? - Matty B.

My mind lusts for war,
Hands and loins will not agree,
Onanism triumphs.

For noble cause I
Seek to know, what is the sound
Of one hand wanking. - Raoul, Canada

big fat stick of love,
make the world at peace for me,
oooooh thats good, make peace - Michael

My wang in my hand, 
I seek for peace through orgasm.  
Osama! Join me! - John, Georgia

a breeze at my back,
hands full of creamy lotion.
a war diverted

Pound, furiously
Too tired to look up now
War is bad, M'kay?

death's head skull grimace
no match for rosy pleasure
blood not shed tonight - maddock

fleshy fleshy rub
ooooh that feels too terrific!
who was I mad at? - prince

I tug it 'til I go "PHWOOOOAAAAAR!"
In order to stop all war
To aid me in the making of white fountains
I look at pics of the Cary mountains
My wanking shall never cease
Until the world is at peace
I jack off even as I write this
Fight with masturbation, not fist
Exhausted with getting off I am
Perhaps I have stopped Saddam
Then again maybe not. - Zeb

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Masturbation Resources

Several web sites offer detailed advice and information on masturbating alone and with friends:
Let's Masturbate - Masturbation hints and tips and a masturbation party planner
Masturbation - Hundreds of men and women share their masturbation stories
Masturbation Horror - Unfortunate, true tales of how masturbation can go horribly wrong